Can You Hate Yourself Sick? - Part 1

Updated: Jan 20

Though it seems ridiculous to think people would choose misery over happiness, it happens EVERY SINGLE DAY and I know because for so many years I did it to myself.


Let's face it, very few of us lead perfect lives and we all have our own demons to battle. The only difference is the degree of impact it has on our lives and HOW EQUIPPED WE ARE TO DEAL WITH THEM in a healthy and constructive way.


Today I want to share a part of my wellness journey that I think is so important but largely ignored - our emotional and mental well being as we go through different stages of our lives.


In a previous post I opened up about living with Ulcerative Colitis (Inflammatory Bowel Disease), an auto-immune condition that I kept private from the world for a very long time.


Now, 20 years since I was diagnosed I feel it is so important for me to share my journey because I know what it is like to DESPERATELY want feel "normal" again and how demoralising it is when life seems like endless suffering.


No matter what your health condition I believe that while the problem may be very real and physical, the root of the problem lies much deeper within us. While my condition may be auto-immune and yours may not be, the core reason for our health issues are often much the same and it is something I want to dive into as we go forward in weeks to come.


DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

Sounds like a simple question but it is far more complex than it seems...


So many of us go through life believing we are someone that we are not. I went through life for so long thinking my way of living was normal and how life was supposed to be but I did not realise it was not until I was hit a devastating blow and diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.


At first I accepted defeat, suffering endlessly for years thinking medication and medical interventions were the only way to "get better" but when I continued to relapse and get sicker and sicker despite stronger and stronger medications I finally realised my illness was much more than it's symptoms and I was tired of feeling robbed of my quality of life. At that point I knew I needed to find a way to heal, not just physically but mentally too. As I began to research health and wellness more deeply I soon realised that all my life I had been feeding my body a phenomenal amount of emotional garbage.


And it is done in such a sneaky way that you don't even notice it, we come to think it is the way things are supposed to be and it is so sad that so many of us are not supported from a young age with the tools to manage our mental attitude and emotions until they take on a life of their own and manifest in dangerous or destructive ways.


I would hedge a bet that if you are suffering from a serious health condition, no matter what it is, that there has most probably been a constant/chronic emotional issue that you have not been able to deal with in your life.


If you have struggled with feeling like you are not enough in any way, if you feel you must constantly put others feelings and well-being ahead of your own, if you feel like you are a disappointment to your family, if you feel lonely or misunderstood by those you love, if you feel overwhelmed meeting the expectations of others, if you are unable to forgive and hold grudges, if you feel you can never be the person you want to be or have the life you desire, if you constantly feel nervous and anxious about how others perceive you, if you feel life is against you and a constant battle to fight, then I'm so glad you have found this blog, because I truly believe what I have to share can help you - because I have felt all of this too.


It is only when we truly embrace the supreme power of our emotional state that can begin to heal on all levels.

I can't tell you the amount of concoctions, potions and lotions that my parents tried on me when I was diagnosed (in addition to my prescribed medication) and everything would work for a short while and then I would relapse, harder, stronger and longer than before - EVERY SINGLE TIME. It didn't matter what medications I took, how much rest I got, what I did or didn't eat. Because I was not dealing with the root cause of the problem.


When you ignore your feelings for long enough your body will eventually make you take notice.


Whether you choose to listen or not is an entirely different story.


In Part 2 of this post I'm going to delve into my life and how our childhood experiences and the choices we make can impact our health and wellness in adulthood.


If this information helps you or can help someone you know, please be sure to subscribe to my free newsletter (link at the bottom on my homepage) and please leave a comment or email as it is very gratifying to hear from you.







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