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Are you Self-Sabotaging Yourself? Mental Health Tips - Part 1

Updated: Jul 20, 2023

Could you be one of the millions of people DESTROYING your mental and physical health without even realising it? It's not your fault.


Goddess by Feritta Wellness & Beauty Blog

So many of us aren't even aware of the words we speak because we're often on auto-pilot. We all have tough days and when I do, I need to remind myself to reframe my words and make better choices.


Learning to improve my emotional state and way of thinking has been a crucial part of my wellness journey and an important coping mechanism for alleviating the symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis, an autoimmune condition, also known as Inflammatory Bowel Disease which I've lived with for 20 years.


For so long I had no idea how destructive my inner and outer dialogue was until my condition showed up and forced me to take a confronting look at myself.


And I learned that words have power and a direct impact on physical and mental health.


It's important to understand that when you have a thought for long enough it becomes your belief, your reality. This is why it is crucially important to use words the right way so we can enjoy positive growth, healthy relationships and good health.


Today I'd like to show you how to create a new dialogue designed to enhance your health, and well-being on both a mental and physical level. You'll be surprised how a few tweaks can make a tremendous difference to your life.





SO ARE YOU EXCITED? LET'S BEGIN!


COMMON PHRASE NO. 1 "I'M SO BUSY"


Almost always, when I speak to a someone these days and ask how they are they say "I've been SO busy, I've got so much going on, it's been non-stop, I haven't had a chance to sit down for a minute".


Do you often feel the pressure to be ultra-productive even if it runs you into the ground? So many of us are conditioned to feel that we need to be the perfect partner, parent, friend AND have the perfect career, image and lifestyle.


The truth is adult life means we ALL have to manage work, partners, home, kids, exercise, family, friends, study, hobbies - the list goes on.


When we have a lot going on, the way we communicate with ourselves and others in our day-to-day life plays a major role in how we feel - and ultimately how we cope with "life". While the occasional deadline or a bit of extra pressure from time-to-time will happen, a consistent, prolonged feeling of frustration and stress from feeling under the pump and as though you're not meeting your expectations of your ideal life will at some point take it's toll.


Here are some easy suggestions to help shift your mental space. Continue using these positive, uplifting phrases until they become second nature and watch how much more at ease you feel as you go about your day.



When your brain "hears" POSITIVE phrases and words like "productive" and "accomplished" etc. it puts you into a healthy, empowered head space AND it reinforces/tells your mind and body that you are in CONTROL. When you use words like "busy", "flat-out" and "non-stop" you are telling yourself you're not in control of the situation, or in other words, stressed.


When you're stressed the body reacts by pushing stress hormones like cortisol (which leads to weight gain), adrenaline and norepinephrine into your blood stream which unmanaged for prolonged periods can cause, trigger and aggravate a wide array of chronic health issues.


That's why a positive mental attitude is your first defence against this kind of stress response.


COMMON PHRASE NO. 2 "I'M TOO OLD"

Age truly is a mindset and how committed you are to looking after yourself mentally, physically AND spiritually. Some of the world's most amazing accomplishments are/were by people well past their 70's.


NEVER let age define your abilities, goals and dreams.

In my own healing journey, I've learned that age is not as much about time (the years that go by) as much as it is about your attitude to life (your core beliefs and lifestyle). Many people use the excuse of their age to justify why they should/should not, can/cannot do something, however the only thing stopping you from a personal goal or making a positive change in your life is YOU.


Study after study confirms that we have amazing regenerative and healing abilities no matter our age and those that get the most out of life are the people that are always excited to learn, explore, improve and grow.


I love this book by world renowned speaker, Rapid Transformational Therapy trainer and best-selling author Marisa Peer - You Can Be Younger. It's an easy read that shows you easy, practical ways to improve your physical and mental health and explores many studies supporting how we can reverse aging.


REMEMBER: You always have a choice to make a change FOR THE BETTER


Here are just a few of many inspiring examples proving age is no barrier:



After we reach adulthood, the notion that it is "all downhill from here" is SIMPLY NOT TRUE and with the latest in wellness, science and bio-hacking, living a healthy and productive life well into our 80's, 90's and beyond is more possible now than ever.


Another fabulous resource at the forefront of anti-aging, longevity and wellness is biologist Dr David Sinclair. who is a big proponent of intermittent fasting, HIIT and certain supplements (like NDN and Resveratrol) for longevity and living a healthy life.


But I digress...so what should we be saying to ourselves?



So many people say "When I was young" but young is a relative term these days, that is why I prefer "When I was little" - do you see the simple yet profound difference?


Reminding yourself that you are capable and able is important. When a child is trying something for the first time and gets frustrated what do we tell them - "Keeping trying, come on, I know you can do it"! Why does this rule not apply to adults?


You CAN DO whatever you SET YOUR MIND TO so dare to fulfil your heart's desire!


Whatever your personal dream go and make it happen! For me my childhood dream was to be a famous singer and I am so fortunate that thanks to social media and the internet I can still share my gift and fulfil my passion for writing and singing music. I don't need to fill stadiums or tour when I can simply upload my music online for the world to hear. As the years have gone by my creativity has also expanded into this website and blog as well as a separate food blog (www.eatinstylebyeritta.com). I am also working on my first cook book and have just begun study to become a certified RTT therapist - my point is, always go in the direction of your dreams regardless of your age - and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!




COMMON PHRASE NO. 3

I CAN NEVER FORGIVE HE/SHE/THEM FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE


People hurt us and we hurt people because that's a part of life and WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.


For some people, forgiveness is extremely difficult because quite simply we feel hurt/violated/attacked at the time or we see it as a sign of weakness but forgiveness is one of the most powerful and liberating feelings why? Because it means we control our emotions, not others.


So many people live their lives sad, bitter and angry over a meaningless incident, or something that happened years ago or are fighting a fight that is not even theirs (especially common in families). LET IT GO.


You are totally entitled to speak up for your feelings and emotions but as time passes the only person you are hurting is yourself. Some people are just not worth your valuable emotions and time.


The big question is always "Why should I forgive them when they hurt me?"


While sometimes we deserve what is coming to us, call it karma if you will, there are other times when a simple misunderstanding or a moment of anger turns into a festering wound destroying us from the inside as we end up reliving the hurt and emotions associated with it over and over again in our mind.


LONG TERM RESENTMENTS, UNRESOLVED ILL FEELINGS, ANGER AND HATRED CAN LITERALLY MANIFEST ILLNESS INTO YOUR BODY AND DAMAGE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.


Sometimes when someone hurts us they may not even realise they have done so or even worse, they feel their actions are justified at that point of time. If you can't/won't take the time to talk it though and make amends it can quite literally haunt you.


Forgiveness does not mean that everybody has a free pass to do as they please and walk all over you but it does mean is that you are emotionally able to see a situation for what it is and move past it.


It's all about you being in the drivers seat of how you want to feel which is happy and contented in life.


So many people choose sadness (carrying hurt and resentment within themselves) over happiness - I used to be one of those people because I felt that my feelings were not being acknowledged and that nobody cared but I eventually understood I was only hurting myself and the world would continue on just fine, so the choice to feel good or bad was up to me.


While it is sad that many beautiful relationships end because both parties won't come to the table with an open heart in and effort to mend bridges, on the other end of the spectrum we have to also realise that while forgiving someone is good for your mental and physical health, perhaps it is best they are not in your life. All of us have our lessons to learn and judgement calls to make, the good news is there is always time to do the right thing.



COMMON PHRASE NO. 4 IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE/I CAN'T AFFORD IT

Money is inherently a very powerful motivator of good or bad feelings because we are driven to believe that our happiness and self worth comes from money and the things/lifestyle it brings.


Many of us have grown up repeatedly hearing "We can't afford that", "No it's too expensive", "Money doesn't grow on trees", the list goes on. By adulthood and without realising it we grow up with a "lack mentality" where we subconsciously believe we can never live the lifestyle we want or have the amount of money we truly desire.


On the other end of the spectrum there's a reason for the saying "The rich get richer" because they don't ever feel financial lack and assume money will always be there so there is no FEAR connected to money because they expect money to always be there and so they live their lives financially abundant.




While we are not all born into wealth we can certainly move our mindset towards a more money-positive attitude by understanding that our happiness is not tied to money but to gratitude for what we ALREADY HAVE. On a slightly different note, I feel it is important to note that greed can be just as destructive as a feeling of lack - that is why gratitude always keeps you in a state of balance and open to receiving in a healthy way.


FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE WILL ALWAYS ATTRACT MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT INTO YOUR LIFE AS DOES THE CONCEPT OF GIVING.


When we give/share freely and without expectation we naturally create positive feelings towards money and wealth, not only does it feel good but it is mentally reinforces that we are financially abundant to have the resources to do so.




WE HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL OUR MINDSET


All it takes is your commitment to make simple yet profound changes to the way you think and speak and I promise you'll enjoy better mental health, less stress and greater quality of life.


Please leave me a comment or click the heart at the bottom of the page it helps with the blog's algorithm so more people can see this post and benefit!


Stay Blessed,











4 Comments


Jamshed Dadachanji
Jamshed Dadachanji
Apr 30, 2021

It takes a really unique person to have gone through everything you have with your IBD and be so focussed on helping others. You're truly inspiring 💖

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Feritta
Feritta
May 01, 2021
Replying to

Thank you, those words mean a lot to me. I'm a big believer in helping and uplifting others. Everyone needs to know someone cares. ❤❤❤

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What kinds of negative words do you often say to yourself that you could change? Let me know here in the comments section!

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Replying to

I‘ve had a long rough day at work!

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